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September 22, 2011
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In a space of no color, there was time-
watching upon us, the few (the folly we felt)
tasting breath, thoughts (only scribbles, we claim)
and feeling our fear (a guiding light in this night)

In a space of no color, there was hope-
in the form of handshakes (impacts we could never feel)
within the arms of this warmth (finding love, we whisper)
falling below the periphery (delve into the dusk)

In a space of no color, there were confinements-
four walls, a refrain on mind (ropes tight on our throats)
we pushed and fought (only children in heart, we were)
until collapse; alas, only our determination (walls stand tall)

In a space of no color, there was death-
inside thoughts, in the flesh (feeling the weary fall)
crept into sudden fissures (fill the rift in these ponderings)
in the bleached pages of morning (follow lines with a sigh)

In a space of no color, there was nothing.
This is my poem for the :iconrawem0tion: prompt "The Fourth Wall"
I don't know how well it really works for that, but this is what I was inspired to write :meow: Any comments or critiques would be much appreciated!! Thanks for reading~
:iconsoftglompplz:
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:iconreganwritous:
ReganWritous Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Professional Writer
Hi. I like the fragments that are set apart, although the connection to the rest of the line wasn't always clear to me--at first. Very thought-provoking, and sad, too. I was definitely transported to a place of walls, airless, colorless. Great job!
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:iconthe-manatee-king:
The-Manatee-King Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012   General Artist
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :icongdjobplz:
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:iconneuroticmnemonic:
neuroticmnemonic Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2011   Writer
Wow, dude.
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:iconthe-manatee-king:
The-Manatee-King Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2011   General Artist
Thank you :D
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:iconluminescentblue:
luminescentblue Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2011
OMG THIS IS SO FANTASTIC I LOVE IT!!! it made me a little sad, but i think that's how it's supposed to make me feel, so great job! (god i'm an idiot XD)
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:iconthe-manatee-king:
The-Manatee-King Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2011   General Artist
You aren't an idiot!!! :stare:
And thank you :happybounce: I'm glad you like it :love:
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:iconstolenindigo:
StolenIndigo Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2011
i love this!!
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:iconthe-manatee-king:
The-Manatee-King Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2011   General Artist
Thank you!! :tighthug:
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:iconstolenindigo:
StolenIndigo Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2011
you're welcome (:
:icontiggerhugplz:
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:iconthe-manatee-king:
The-Manatee-King Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2011   General Artist
Awwwww, so adorable!!! :squee:
:icontiggerhugplz::iconpenguinglompplz:
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